


EVERYBODY SELLS COCAINE | a ricky horror ff

by j0eYj0rdis0n



Category: Motionless in White (Band)
Genre: Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Dealer, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Drugs, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 18,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27698909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j0eYj0rdis0n/pseuds/j0eYj0rdis0n
Summary: Scarlett Reed works nights at a high end restaurant in town. She seems pretty normal, or so you would think. The girl has a crippling addiction to cocaine. And Ricky Olson, the local dealer is happy to supply. But after months dealing to her, is it really just a business relationship?"IF I TAKE THE PAIN AWAY, YOU'LL COME BACK FOR MORE SOMEDAY."
Relationships: Ricky "Horror Olson/Original Character, Ricky "Horror" Olson/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS BOOK INCLUDES SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER SUCH AS:  
> depression, substance abuse/ addiction, self harm, and strong language.  
> If these subjects are not appropriate for you, I suggest finding another story.
> 
> CAST:  
> Ricky Olson  
> Scarlett Reed
> 
> "IF I TAKE THE PAIN AWAY, YOU'LL COME BACK FOR MORE SOMEDAY."

**Scarlett.**

Being a waitress is fucking hard. So many people constantly telling you what you're doing wrong, spilling food on both yourself and the floor, and being on the edge of losing your job.  
My shift ended five minutes ago and now I'm sitting in my shitty car, feeling like a failure as always... I know that I should be thankful, I have a job and work at a really nice place with really nice coworkers who seem so genuinely care about me. But even with all that, I still feel like dirt. Maybe it's that I can barely make rent, can't find a boyfriend, hate myself and everything that comes with it, and now I seem to be addicted to every substance I've tried. All the way from alcohol to drugs.

"Goddamn it!" I curse and bang my fists against the steering wheel. I hang my head as I grip the wheel tightly. I look down at my legs and know exactly what would make me feel better...  
Seeing my dealer again.  
It's been almost two weeks and I'm running low anyway.

I look over at my phone on the opposite seat.  
I know doing drugs is wrong... I know it... But I can't help it... I need it so bad. I take at least three breaks a day cause I'm so fucking dependent on this shit. But it takes the edge off and makes me feel so much better about my situation and myself.  
I stare at my phone for a minute, debating if I should go deeper down the hole of addiction or try and climb out. 

I cave quickly.

"Fuck it."

I swiftly grab the phone and look through my contacts. I tap on the one labeled "Rick" and send him a message. I get an almost immediate response.

S: I need a fix

R: You know the spot

S: Be there in 10  
(read 10:26 pm)

I sigh and toss my phone on the passengers seat and throw my car in gear. I sigh as I realize I've made the wrong choice but not wanting to leave Ricky hanging, I go.  
Just to keep a good relationship with him incase I want more. Fuck Scar! You don't want more! This is it. No more after this. I think to myself.

Ten minutes seems like an eternity when you're needing a fix, but I soon pull into a parking spot down the street from the corner where I'll pick up from Ricky. I see him waiting on the corner with his black jacket wrapped tight around his body and his beanie pulled low. I then realize it is mid October and it is starting to get pretty cold... I grab my phone and wallet and hop out of the car and pull the hood of my sweatshirt up over my head while wrapping my arms tight around my waist.

I see Ricky look up at me as I make my way over. His pale face shows no emotion, just a blank gaze. It almost makes me a little nervous as I stand in front of him.  
He raises an eyebrow. "You got money?"

I nod quickly and pull out my wallet.

"Desperate tonight are we Scarlett?" He smirks a little as I look at him, shocked. I didn't mean it that way at all! I just want to get my shit and leave!

I cover my shock with an eye roll, "how much Ricky." I grumble.

"150" He says.

"Shit Rick! That's a lot..."

"100. Cause I'm really nice." He looks me dead in the eyes, his icy ones pierce my soul.

I sigh and rub the back of my neck and hand him the cash. He hands over the cocaine and starts walking away.

"Same time next week..?" I ask quickly.

"Will you have money?" He looks at me over his shoulder.

"Uh sure!" I say desperately.

"Then same time next week." He cracks a small smile and walks away.

I stand and watch him walk away. I slowly realize that I just keep digging my own grave as I watch him turn the corner. A strong gust of wind almost knocks me off my feet. Fuck it's cold out!  
I stuff the coke in my pocket and run to my car, cranking up the heat and driving home.

Goddamn Scar, what the hell are you doing...


	2. Chapter 2

**Ricky.**

Poor girl. I honestly feel pretty bad for her.   
I hate to be the one supplying the thing that will probably probably be the death of her, but I have to get money somehow. I've never been able to keep a real job so this is the best I can do. Someone else's pain makes my money. That's pretty fucked up now that I think about it. 

I've never thought about how much pain the shit I provide people creates. I've just never cared that much. But Scarlett changed my mind a little. It hurts me a little more each time to give her the stuff... She has so much potential to do great things, she once told me that she wants to be an elementary school teacher. 

Now that's really fucked. 

But then again, her addiction brings in good money, so of course I continue to supply her. She is nice company too. High or not.   
I've tried to casually convince her to do other things than drugs but she keeps telling me that's she falls right back.  
I realize that if she quits the drugs then I'll probably never see her again. But it would be for the best right? She'd get a better life and I could find someone else to deal to... But she's a great buyer and great company. I never did realize how lonely I was until I met her... Yeah the guys are nice, but sometimes Vin gets to be a little much. And I haven't had a girlfriend in a while...

Fuck Rick! What the hell are you thinking?! She's a fucking junkie. Addicted to cocaine. You sell to her. You can't fucking date her! It's not my fucking job to help her.  
I don't let my mind wonder as I run to my car. Time to sell to her once again...

I get to the same old corner and wait for her.  
Fuck it really is cold out...  
I shiver as I stuff my hands in my pockets, trying to keep them warm as I wait. I look around, the corner is on a really grimy street with a dirty gas station on one side and a ratty motel on the other. I never actually realized how bad of a neighborhood this is. I mentally shrug and look at my feet, waiting for her to show up.

Goddamn is it taking her a long time... I check the time on my phone. It's been 15 minutes since she said she'd be here. I'll give it another five, just cause I'm nice. Really nice.

I soon see her car pull up and her run towards me. She looks exhausted. If I do remember correctly she said she was a waitress at a pretty nice restaurant and I'm sure it must be tiring. She's out of breath by the time she gets over. She hands me a wad of cash, I sort through it and hand her back fifty.

She looks dumbfounded, "wait... what?" she looks at me.

"You look exhausted, you're coming with me and using some of that money to get some food." I state simply.

"Nono! I'm fine!" She exclaims.

"Nevermind, I'm paying now."

"Ricky, it's fine. I'm fine!" She's really trying to work her way out of it.

I don't give her much of a choice as I grab her hand and walk her to my car. I open the passenger side door and wait for her to get in before closing it behind her and getting in the drivers side. I begin driving and it's not long before she starts asking where we're going and why I insisted on taking her.

"We're going to eat, I told you that. And you look tired and it's nice to have a hot meal."

She doesn't say anything else the rest of the ride. Just sits, staring out the window into the dark night.   
I pull into the parking lot of the 24 hour diner and look over at her. She's just staring at the diner almost nervously. I guess it is kind of run down...

"Ready?" I ask.

She nods in response and gets out of the car. I follow behind her, pulling my beanie lower on my head and holding the door open for her. She thanks me and takes a seat at a worn down booth next to the front windows. I sit across from her and watch as she looks around.

"Have you never been to a diner before?" I raise an eyebrow.

"No... I've only been in restaurants." She replies.

I'm about to respond before a familiar tall blonde waitress walks over with a smile. Her Boston accent is thick when she speaks, "hey Rick, nice to see you again!"

"Hey Jamie, how are you?" I give a small smile.

"I'm good! I see you've brought a very pretty guest! Girlfriend?" She smirks.

I shake my head, "good friend."

She nods "what can I get you two?"

I look over at Scarlett for her to go first. She quickly scans the menu, "Uh... How about some pancakes?" She smiles up at Jamie.

"I can certainly do that for you!" She looks over at me.

"I'll take the same." I smile at Scarlett. I see her roll her eyes, hiding a smile.

"Well I'll be right back with that!" Jamie waves and walks back behind the counter.

Scarlett holds her head up with one hand and stares out the window. I follow her gaze, looking over the wide field on the other side of the highway.

"Ricky."

I look at her "hm?"

"Give me my shit." She gives me the most deadly stare I've ever seen come from that girl.

"I'm not just going to hand it over to you right here." I say quietly. She rolls her eyes in response.

Soon Jamie comes back with our food. We thank her and dig in. Fuck the food here is so good... There's no conversation between us as we eat, and it's kind of awkward I must say... Scarlett starts to stand up, finished with her food. I throw money on the table and walk out with her.

She gets in the car and I drive her back to the corner where she can get to her car.

"Give me my shit now Ricky." She holds out a hand and I give her what she wants.  
Almost immediately she gets out of the car and runs to hers.

"Well then..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Scarlett.**

It's been three weeks and I'm on my last line of coke. I sigh and hit it and get out of my car, walking into work for my shift. This shit better last until the end of the night.  
I smooth out my work uniform and walk to the back to clock in. My coworkers greet me and we talk for a bit before I really have to get to work.  
Time does seem to fly when you're so busy. I've already dropped two plates and messed up three orders. And honestly this wouldn't happen if I hadn't taken the coke before my shift. But I need it, it keeps me going. So I keep taking it.

I walk to the back and wipe the sweat from my forehead. Goddamn am I tried...  
I see my coworkers looking out at the tables from behind the kitchen door, I decide to go see what the fuss is about.

"Ah! Scarlett! Just the person we wanted to see! There's some hot dudes in your section, and we think you should ask them for their numbers." One of my friends states proudly while pointing to a group of five men in a booth across the restaurant. Two are facing the opposite direction and three are facing us. The three I can see are quite attractive...

I shrug, "I might..."

"Come on! You have to get me the tall guy's number!" Another one begs.

"I'll see what I can do." I say and start making my way to my section.

I texted Ricky earlier to tell him I needed a fix. He hadn't texted me back until 30 minutes into my shift, telling me that we could meet up tonight. I accepted, of course. So I was shocked to say the least when I see him and the four other men sitting in my section. At the exact table my coworker pointed to.   
I try to hide my shock as I step to the booth.

"Hi, I'm Scarlett and I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you started with any drinks?" I repeat the same thing I've said about a million times tonight.

Ricky and the tall man my coworker was so infatuated with, order waters and the other three order beer.   
"I'll be right back with those for you all." I give a polite smile and swiftly make my way to the back.

Why the fuck is he here?! I guess he can go wherever the fuck he wants but he knows I work tonight!

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.  
So what? Your dealer is here, and you still have to make your money. He can eat wherever the fuck he wants and he chose to eat here. Fine.

I get them their drinks and walk them over to them. "Have you guys decided on anything?" I ask politely.  
They all say their respective orders, Ricky ordering a burger. Who the fuck orders a plain burger at this nice of a restaurant?   
Clearly him I guess... "I'll be right out with that!" I plaster a fake smile on my face and go to the back once again.

"So? Did you get their numbers?" My coworker asks.

"No." I reply.

"Why not?" She whines.

I try and think of a quick excuse, "you could do so much better Alex." I spit out.

She nods, clearly taking my words as truth. "I guess you're going to have to give me advice more often!" She smiles.

God she's so fucking naïve... Isn't she like 17..?

"Uh... Sure?" I laugh nervously.

"Thanks Scarlett!" She smiles widely and walks away.

I rub my temples. Fuck I want to get out of here. Like right now. The coke is starting to wear out and I still have an hour and a half until my shift is over... I need another hit. I groan when I realize I have no more coke left. And the only way to get it is from Ricky. Taking a deep breath, smoothing out my uniform and grabbing their food. I take my time walking it over to them, setting their plates in front of them. They look at the food like they haven't eaten in weeks. I can't help but roll my eyes as I walk away.

Thirty minutes soon pass and the men are still sitting at the booth, engulfed in conversation. I go to serve the table next to them and trip, dropping the tray of food, spilling all over the carpet and myself. Fuck!

In a second Ricky is next to me, helping pick up the pieces of the broken plates. Soon his tall friend starts helping too. I try and tell them that they should just go back to whatever they were doing but they refuse and continue to help me until everything besides the spilled food is picked up.

Alex then rushes over and starts picking up the food.  
"I told boss you got sick and you're going home." She says as she works on getting it out of the carpet. She always does this for me and I'm thankful.

"Thanks Alex, I owe you."

"I'll still take that dudes number." She whispers in my ear.

I sigh, "I'll have it for you tomorrow..."

She gives me a bright smile then goes back to what she was doing. I glance at Ricky before grabbing my stuff and walking out.

"Goddamn this day is shit."


	4. Chapter 4

**Ricky.**

It's been three weeks since Scarlett has texted and I have a slight feeling she's overdosed. But she's smarter than that. Right..?

My phone almost immediately dings after I finish my thought about Scarlett. I smile when I think it might be her. The smile quickly fades when I realize it's Chris.

C: There's this nice restaurant I've been wanting to try, you   
want to go? The guys already agreed

R: Fine. Only if you're paying.

C: That can be arranged

R: It better be arranged

C: I'll text you the address, be  
there at 8

R: Can't wait for my free food

C: Maybe it won't be so free

I choose not to respond after that.   
I do want my food to be free after all.

I sigh and lay back on the couch and look around at my small apartment. The only light is the dusk sunlight coming from the sliding glass doors that lead to a tiny balcony.  
The rest of the apartment is dark and unused aside from the guitars that stand in the corner. I hate this place. I'd gladly move out for a bigger place if I actually had the money. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not poor but I don't have the money for a new place. Maybe a few more months of selling then I could scrape the bottom for something better.

I check the time, 5:50.

"Shit! I can't be late!" I mumble to myself as I scramble to throw on my shoes and beanie and grab my jacket before running out the door.   
I always seem to forget that I have to sell to this dude at 6:00...  
I get to the street I sell to him on and see him already standing in the alleyway. I sigh and rub my face, he looks so much worse than last week. He's definitely not just on coke, let's put it that way. I get out of my car and walk over.

"You're late! You're never late!" He snaps, clearly high on so many things right now. I'm surprised he's not passed out yet..

"Well I'm here now. You want the stuff or not?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes! Yes I want it!" He quickly rummages though his pocket for what I assume is cash. It then dawns upon me that I forgot my knife in my car. So if he pulled out anything other than cash I would be screwed.

No free dinner for me...

Relief washes over me when he gives me a crumpled up wad of bills with shaky hands. I sift through it making sure it's exactly 250.

"You're missing twenty." I look up at him from the bills.

"I can get it to you next time." He fidgets with his hands nervously.

"No. You give it to me now or I won't be able to give you the stuff." I say sternly.

"Come on... I really need it." I practically begs. I see his hands shake from the drugs he's on.

"Give me the money now or the next time you'll have the chance to even get your stuff is in two weeks."

"Okay! Okay!" He throws me a twenty from his pocket.

"Good to know you were hiding it from me." I throw him a small bag of cocaine and walk to my car.   
I honestly don't care that much if he underpaid. I'm not the one who's supplying the drugs to sell. But it would hurt to lose that twenty dollars that could be put towards a new house or guitar or something useful.

The next hour is spent selling to all sorts of people. Some willing to pay a lot more for what they want. I mainly sell cocaine but I'm happy to sell anything else if it gets me more money. Soon 8 o'clock rolls around and I find myself at the restaurant that Chris suggested. I also find that I've definitely underdressed... I don't think black skinny jeans, and a white button up fits much with the expensive atmosphere. Chris and the rest of the guys are waiting outside for me when I get out of my car.   
"Hurry up dude it's fucking cold!" Vinny shouts, earning a glare from an older couple walking out from the restaurant.

I chuckle and run up to them.

"We've been waiting here for like an hour!" Vinny says.

"It was five minutes Vin." Ryan says. That makes everyone laugh. We step inside out of the cold, it smells like pumpkins and caramel. A hostess smiles and takes us to a booth on the far side of the restaurant, she tells us that a waitress will be right with us.  
It takes five minutes before a waitress with long black hair and dark circles under her eyes walks over. She almost looks half dead.

Wait... Scarlett..?

I have to do a double take to make sure it's her. And sure as hell, it is. And she's definitely high.  
I can see the shock on her face when she looks at me. She definitely didn't expect me to come here. I have to suppress a laugh at the thought.  
She quickly looks away from me to Chris, then Ryan, Justin, and Vin.

"Hi. I'm Scarlett and I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you started with any drinks?" She says in a fake friendly tone.

Chris and I order waters and the other three order beers.

"I'll be right back with those for you all." She says and with that she's walking away.

"It's not just me who noticed how she looked surprised right?" Vin asks.

"Nah, she was definitely shocked at something." Ryan replies.

"Probably just our tattoos." I say quickly. Everyone nods in agreement and we switch topics quickly.

Soon Scarlett walks back over with our drinks. "Have you guys decided on anything?" She asks as she places the drinks in front of us.

Vin nods eagerly and starts with his order, we go around the table listing what we want. I get a simple burger and fries.

"I'll be right back with that!" She gives a fake smile before she walks away with our order.

"She looks high." Chris laughs.

"Nah she looks dead!" Vin smiles.

"Maybe she's just having a rough night." I say.

"A rough enough night to get high during work? Yikes." Justin says before taking a sip of his beer. That earns a laugh from everyone besides myself.

Soon our food comes and we eat like a pack of hungry wolves. Once we finish the food we continue talking for around thirty minutes. We're all totally engulfed in our conversation before we hear a loud crash coming from next to us. Everyone snaps to look for where the noise came from and what happened. I realize Scarlett is on the ground with food spilled all on and around her.  
I immediately get on the ground and pick up the pieces of broken plates. Chris soon gets down on his hands and knees and helps too. Scarlett almost begs us to sit back down and go back to what we were doing. Chris and I refuse.

Soon a younger waitress runs over, telling Scarlett that she told the boss Scarlett got sick and that she should go home.

"Thanks Alex, I owe you." She gives a weak smile.

The young waitress whispers in her ear with a smirk.

Scarlett sighs, "I'll have it for you tomorrow..." With that the young waitress beams and Scarlett glances at me before walking out.

I look at the guys, "I'm going to make sure she gets home fine." They exchange skeptical glances before I rush out after Scarlett.  
She's already in her shitty car struggling to start it up. I see her bang her head on the steering wheel when she realizes it's no use.

"Fuck!" She shouts.

I walk over to her car and wait for her to notice.

She throws open her door and steps out. "What do you want Richard." She spits.

"Let me take you home and I can help you get your car fixed." I say softly.

"I don't need your help." She gets back in the car and tries it again to no avail.

"You sure?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Ricky.**

"No... I'm not sure..." She sighs and holds her head in her hands. I hear her sniffle and I realize she's crying.

Oh god... I don't know how to deal with a crying girl...

I hesitantly rub her shoulder. "It'll be ok. We can get it fixed!" I try to sound hopeful but I realize the car is probably done for.

She looks up at me, a single tear drips down her face. "Are you sure..?"

I nod and help her out of her car and over to mine, holding the passenger door open for her while she gets in. I get in and ask her for directions. She directs me to a shitty apartment complex and I just sit and stare at it.

"You live here?" I ask.

She only nods. I sigh and get out of the car. She probably spends all her money on drugs so I'm not surprised when I see the place. She walks up to the door of the complex and unlocks it, letting us into a dirty lobby. She leads me up the stairs to the fourth floor, apartment 4C.

"Home sweet home..." She mumbles halfheartedly.

It's actually quite cozy. She's done it up nicely from what I would've expected from a shitty place like this. Yeah there's drugs on the table and needles in the kitchen but what else would you expect from a junkie?   
She drags herself over to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of alcohol, pouring it into a cup until it's almost all the way full. She takes a long sip before sitting on the couch and putting her feet up on the coffee table.

I hesitantly sit next to her.

"Rick... You know I don't bite. We've been in a room together before." She rubs her forehead, exhausted. I know we've been a little closer than we should've before. So I don't understand why sitting next to her would be a big deal. I nod in response and put my feet up too. I realize that we were going to meet tonight so I could sell to her. I reach in my pocket and pull out the small pack of cocaine and hand it to her. She immediately puts down her cup and I assume goes to find cash to pay me.

"Sit back down and take it. Don't pay me for this one." I say out of pity for what's transpired today.

"Ricky don't pity me." She replies, searching through her purse.

"I'm serious Scar, just take it." I watch her as she turns around and sits back down.

"Will you take it with me?"

"You know I don't do that stuff." I reply.

Yeah I'm a dealer, I've tried everything I sell before. And quite honestly, I didn't like any of the experiences. They say you have to be with the right people for it to work... But I know plenty of junkies who take it alone and love it. It didn't ever work for me and I don't think it ever will so I choose not to. But the way she looks at me almost changes my mind... Bad highs suck though...

"Come on Rick... I don't want to do it alone..." She looks at me with pleading eyes.

I cave almost instantly. "Fine."   
A small smile dances on her face when I say that. She starts making lines for us to take. I feel nervousness rise in my stomach. Why the fuck am I feeling nervous? I've done this before. I'm certainly not new to drugs.

We both take a line and my head already starts to hurt. Fuck... This is a terrible idea...

She takes another and I follow suit, just so I don't make her feel bad for taking more than me.

I should've left when I gave her the drugs. Just said I have other things to do, different people to sell to. 

But I didn't.   
Fuck Ricky...

Why didn't you?

Cocaine is supposed to make you energetic and almost hyper but it just ends up making my head hurt and want to throw up. I'm glad the high only lasts thirty minutes.

Scarlett is definitely going strong though. Already on her third line and still talking my ear off. I don't mind it too much but it only makes the pounding in my head worse. But on the flip side I do get to learn some things about her. Not that I don't know a lot already from the other drug trips we've had. This is only the second time I've agreed to do it with her though, and it will most likely be the last. I don't mind being there for her as long as I'm not using...

Soon she slowly stops talking, I see her eyes start to droop and eventually close. Her high definitely lasted a lot longer than mine and this is probably her crash. Her head slowly starts to fall onto my shoulder. I tense a little but run my hand slowly through her dark hair, getting her to truly succumb to sleep. My head is still pounding from the drugs. Goddamn it... I really shouldn't have done that. I close my eyes, knowing I can't move or I'll wake her so I decide sleep is the best option.

Note to self: Don't take drugs again...


	6. Chapter 6

**Scarlett.**

I wake up the next morning to the smell of bacon. The smell almost seems to get cut off by the irresistible craving for more coke. I make another line and snort it, almost instantly feeling better. I untangle myself from the blankets that incase me and make my way to the kitchen. Ricky turns around and hands me a plate of bacon.

"Try and eat the bacon instead of taking drugs." He says, making a plate for himself.

I don't pay his words any attention as I take a bite of the perfectly cooked bacon.   
Okay why the fuck is he suck a good cook..?  
He's supposed to just sell drugs, why does he continue to get more interesting?  
I shrug it off and keep eating.

A few minutes pass and Ricky speaks up, "I have to get going, don't take anymore drugs today, okay?" He gives me a serious look that I play off as fake.

"Yeah okay." I mumble, not meaning it at all.

"Promise me Scarlett."

That definitely catches me off guard. Why should I promise to him? I should take what I want right? He doesn't get to chose what I can and cannot do. But his eyes tell me that he's entirely serious.  
"Yeah I promise..."

"Good. I'll check in later and we can go do something." He gives a small smile while getting his shoes on.

I nod in response as he grabs his keys off the table and walks out.

I rub my eyes. Fuck I really shouldn't have promised him. The coke on the table looks so tempting... I shake my head and swiftly look away, thinking for something to do besides the drugs. That's when it dawns on me that I definitely have to work today.  
I race to my bedroom and throw on one of the uniforms hanging in my small closet, making a quick call to Alex asking her if she could pick me up. I also take time emptying out any drugs that may be in the pockets of the uniform.  
I'm not taking any risks today.

| | |

I check the time as I walk out of work, 11:00 pm. I sigh as I realize I have no way home.

Fuck.

I call the one person who may actually take me home.

"Ricky?"

"Yeah,, what's up?" He asks, clearly preoccupied with something else.

"Can you uh... Come pick me up from work? I'm kinda stuck." I mumble into the phone.

"Uh sure... I'll be there in twenty."

That's the last thing that's said before the line cuts out. Well I guess I have a little bit of time to wait.   
Waiting always makes me want drugs. It just passes the time quicker. I curse when I remember that I left all of my stuff at home.  
I huff and sit down on the curb, crossing my arms across my chest.  
It's so fucking cold...   
I tap on my shoes while waiting impatiently. I check the time. It's only been five minutes...

Eventually thirty minutes pass and a familiar black car pulls into the parking lot. I stand up and run over to Ricky's car, quickly getting in the car and out of the cold.

"You took longer than you said." I grumble.

"Yeah? Well I had things I needed to do." He responds and pulls out of the lot.

I roll my eyes and lean back in the seat, closing my eyes. I didn't realize I fell asleep until someone is shaking my shoulder lightly.

"Tired huh?" Ricky chuckles.

"Yeah well I haven't taken anything besides this morning so things have been rough." I mumble and rub my eyes.

"I'm surprised you kept the promise." Ricky replies.

"A promise is a promise, and a good person always follows through." I say.

"Wise words from a not so wise person" Ricky smiles.

"Shut up. You're not any better." I snap back.

"Say what you want." Ricky shrugs and gets out of the car. I follow him, walking up to my apartment complex and opening the door for him. We get to my place and kick back on the couch, turning on the tv and looking for something to watch. We eventually agree on The Walking Dead and start watching, turning off all the lights and making a bowl of popcorn.

I couldn't think of a better way to spend my night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Ricky.**

It's almost disappointing to see Scarlett fall deeper down the hole of addiction. A girl like her shouldn't be caught up in shit like that. I can't help but want to help her out of it.

I've always wondered what drives people to drugs. And you'd think I'd know because I'm a dealer but you'd be wrong. I have slight ideas of why but I've never really heard why Scarlett started taking and I'm genuinely interested. I guess I'll have to ask her tonight... At this point I don't just go over to sell to her or eat her food, I enjoy the time spent together. Are we friends? Is that what you'd consider it? 

No.  
I deal to her. We can't be friends.   
That's not an option.

Today I have to spend the day getting a new supply. These days are my least favorite. I have to wait around forever for them to come and get me what I need, and I have to give them 65% of the weeks earnings. And that's a big dip into what I could be earning. I grab my keys and put on my jacket before walking out to my car.

Fuck supply days.

I drive to an even shittier part of town if that's even possible and park my car on the street. I walk to another grimy corner to wait for whoever may show up. I pull my jacket tighter around me as a strong gust of wind almost takes me off my feet.   
Almost an hour passes and a tall, skinny man makes his way to me with a duffle bag.   
Finally! I'm fucking freezing!

When I realize it's Chris I can't hold back a smile. At least it's someone I know this time... Sometimes I do forget that I work for him. I may be a lot lower on the chain of importance but he still runs it all. I have to respect the man for running a gang and not getting caught. Of course we've had our run ins with the law but nothing we can't handle. I'm still waiting for the day he'll let me make major decisions for the gang but I'll wait. I am still just a dealer after all... But sometimes I still wonder why he chose to become friends with me but I'm certainly not angry about it.  
I hand over the 65% of my earnings and he trades for the duffle bag. No words have to be exchanged before I rush to my car, throwing the duffle bag in the trunk and getting in the front.

Let's hope I don't get pulled over.

| | |

The rest of the day is spent with Vin playing video games. I forget how much fun you can have with someone so annoying. I've won almost every round and Vinny's sulking. His girlfriend sat beside him silently watching him lose every time, laughing when he loses the final time.

"One more round!" He shouts as I stand up.

"I'll take my victory and leave." I smirk and throw my shoes on.

"Rematch next time!"

"Whatever you want Vin." I wave to him and his girlfriend and walk out. Almost immediately I get a text from Scarlett. 

S: You should come over

R: What if I don't?

S: I won't buy from you   
anymore

R: And we both know   
that's a big fat lie

S: Whatever! I'll just   
refuse to talk to you.

R: Oh no, I better come  
over then!

S: I knew that would   
get you

It's 11:57 by the time I get to her house. She can barely stand when she opens the door. I can smell the pungent smell of alcohol on her.

She's fucking hammered...  
Should I really go in? Weird shit happens when people are drunk...

Against my better judgement I step in and take off my shoes. I take my usual spot on the couch and motion for her to sit down too. I honestly don't want her to do anything but lie down while she's this drunk. She stumbles and flops down on the couch next to me.

"TV?" I ask, even though I don't expect her to watch. It's just something to pass the time now that I'm here.

She nods in response and lays back.

I turn on the tv, kicking my feet up and laying back as a random show starts playing. She changes positions and lies down, resting her head on my thigh. My hand naturally goes to touch her hair, running my fingers though it slowly.

After a while I feel her touching my arm.  
I look down at her softly tracing the tattoos on my arm. I can't help but break out a smile. She doesn't register that I watch her as she continues to trace the ink on my skin. I slowly realize that she is actually really pretty... I don't even try to stop the thoughts that run through my head.   
Her soft black hair falls beautifully down her shoulders and her soft brown eyes shine in the dim light. I do realize that this certainly isn't the behavior you should have with your buyer but we're past that point by now. We've already walked right past that line.

"I like this one..." She mumbles as she pokes at the skull on my inner right forearm. "And this one..." She taps the coffin tattoo on my right hand. "And this one, and this one, and this one." She taps almost every tattoo on my arm. "I like them all..." She slurs her words.

"Do you?" I ask amused.

She nods vigorously. "They're soooo cool..."   
I smile as her eyes start to close, the alcohol finally starting to pull her under.  
She threads her fingers through mine before she falls asleep.

For a while I just sit there, running my other hand though her hair lightly while halfway watching the tv. But then my mind slowly shifts back to tattoos.

Does she have any?   
If she did what would they be?  
Where would they be?

My curiosity gets the best of me and I slowly shift her long sleeved shirt up her arm. What I see is completely shocking. Cuts and scars litter her arms like someone decided to scratch her mercilessly over and over and over again. I run my fingers up the scars ever so lightly. My heart breaks a little for her.

Why would she do this to herself...?


	8. Chapter 8

**Scarlett.**

For the last few weeks Ricky has come over every other night. Probably only because I've asked him to. At first my excuse used to be that I wanted drugs and it was too cold out to get them on the corner. And now it's just that I'm bored or lonely and want to see him. 

I'm honestly quite surprised that he continues to come over. Maybe it's the food we get or sometimes make, or maybe it's how we're binge watching The Walking Dead, or maybe it's just the drugs. But then again he told me he won't take more after the first time at my place. Each time I still try to get him to take some with me but he's persistent. Maybe he'll try the new stuff I got...

I hear a knock on the door, I race over and open it to reveal a shivering Ricky. He immediately takes a step in, taking off his shoes and sitting on the couch. I close the door and sit next to him.

"I got some new stuff-"

He quickly cuts me off. "And you didn't buy it from me? I'm only slightly offended." He places a hand on his chest, pretending to be offended.

"I didn't think you'd sell it to me." I reply with a shrug.

"I sell everything but you've never asked me for anything else besides coke." He kicks his feet up on the table. "How much did you pay for whatever you got?"

"250 for heroin" I reply.

"Jesus- Heroin?! I'm not letting you have that." He says sternly.

"Why not? It's my body, I'll choose what I put into it." I say angrily.

"That'll kill you Scar!" He shouts.

"I've had it before! It's not like coke can't either!" I shout back.

Ricky shakes his head, "Give it to me Scarlett. I'll match what you payed for it if you give it to me so I can get rid of it."

I only laugh. He's fucking joking right?  
He holds out his hand.

"Rick just let me have this hit then I won't have any more." I plead.

I see something in his eyes change, they soften. Is it really that easy?  
He sighs and motions for me to get on with it.

I know I'm pushing it when I say this, "will you do it with me?"

He cringes. "Scarlett..."

"Come on Rick, just this one! I promise I'll never ask again after this!" The first part is true, but I'll certainly ask him to try other things later.

"Scarlett I'll have a bad trip..."

What? I've never heard of one of those... He's probably just lying to get out of it.

He can probably see the confused look on my face when he responds, "It's where the drugs don't make you feel good but bad. I throw up and itch really bad." He explains. "And I don't want to ruin your trip because of mine." He looks me deep in the eyes.

"Rick that's probably not even a real thing. Come on, It'll be fine." I take the needle in my hand.

"I'll try something else with you some other time, okay? Let's just watch some Walking Dead and chill..." He turns on the tv in front of us.

I shake my head, "you can watch, just update me if I don't remember."

He sighs but nods, signaling that I can continue. He doesn't pay any attention as I inject the heroin into a vein. I slowly lay down, not quite knowing where I end up but quickly realizing I'm in Rick's lap and look up at him and smile. The feeling of warmth and euphoria washes over me like a heavy wave as the rush starts.

Fuck this feels so good...

Ricky looks down at me with a concerned look but I pay it no mind. It almost feels like all of my feelings went away, all that's left is warmth. It's almost like there's no world around me, like no one could ever come hurt me. Nothing bad could happen, everything will be fine.   
Once the rush finishes all that's left is calm. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm in this pleasant world of niceness. No one but me could ever understand what this world looks and feels like. It's incredibly indescribable.

I feel someone stroking my hair lightly and it only brings me deeper in this world.   
Soon the world fades to black and everything is perfect.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS BOOK INCLUDES SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER SUCH AS:  
> depression, substance abuse/ addiction, self harm, and strong language.  
> If these subjects are not appropriate for you, I suggest finding another story.

**Scarlett.**

I wake up with the worst hangover.  
"Fuck..." I groan and rub my eyes. I jolt up when I realize my head was in Ricky's lap but immediately regret it, my head spins.

Ricky shifts and opens his eyes slowly. "Morning..." He says in a gravelly morning voice.

"Morning." I reply quickly, trying not to put him in a bad mood.

He runs his hands though his mid length black hair then rubs his eyes slowly. "Does your head hurt?" He looks at me, concerned.

I shrug, not wanting him to know how badly my head really hurts.  
He almost immediately gets up when he realizes I don't want to tell him. I flinch. "Where do you keep the medicine?"

"Ricky I can get it..." I say quietly as I look at my feet.

"Nono you're hurting, so lay down while I get stuff to help you. Now where's the medicine?" He asks softly.

"Bathroom..." I mumble and lay back down, clutching my head in pain.

It takes him a while before he comes back with two Advil pills, a cup of water, and toast with eggs. He hands me the items and sits on the coffee table watching me.

"You really didn't have to do this Rick." I reply as I take a bite of the toast. I realize that I only get good food when Ricky is around.

"It'll will make you feel better faster so you should eat all of it, take the pills, and sleep the rest off." He says quietly, clearly trying not to make my booming headache any worse.

I nod weakly and finish the food, taking both pills in one swallow.

"I'll check in on you tomorrow okay?" He asks.

"You really don't have to..." I don't need him to check in on me. I'm not a little girl. And I can take care of myself. But I sigh when I realize he'll get his way. "Fine... Just bring me a fix when you come back."

He rolls his eyes but nods before putting on his shoes and walking out.

I check the time before grabbing a blanket from the other side of the couch and pulling it up to my chin. I sigh when I realize I'll be sleeping the whole day away. I close my eyes regardless and soon feel myself drift off to sleep.

| | |

_It's another beautiful day out, I can hear the birds chirping and the breeze is light through my window.  
Maybe today will be a good day...  
I get out of bed as usual and get dressed.  
My boyfriend hasn't woken up yet and I refuse to wake him up in fear of what might happen if I do. Instead I walk downstairs and make breakfast. I make his favorite as always, french toast with syrup and hash browns._

_Strong arms wrap around my waist causing me to jump._

_"You made my favorite." My boyfriend mumbles into my shoulder. I can feel the smile on his face._

_"Anything for you." I fake happiness for him._

_He kisses my cheek sloppily and grabs the plate of food, sitting down at the kitchen table and stuffing his face. I sigh and lean against the counter, watching him eat._

_I really want to go out with my friends today but I know he'd never let me. I haven't gone out with my friends in months. He barely lets me text them... But it won't hurt to ask right?  
"Hey Jack...?" He immediately looks up at me. "Can I go out with a few of my friends tonight?" I ask hesitantly._

_His eyes immediately shift from bright to dark in a spilt second. "Why? Am I not good enough for you?" He asks harshly._

_"No! No! You're perfect!" I lie. "But I haven't seen my friends in forever and I miss them..." I look at my feet._

_"I don't care if you haven't seen them! All you should need is me." He snaps._

_I nod quickly to avoid conflict. I really don't want to start another fight after last night...  
But he clearly won't drop it.  
"You don't think I'm enough do you." He says in a low tone._

_"Jack you know I love you more than anything..." I reply, still looking at my feet._

_In a millisecond his large hand is wrapped around my throat. I look up at him with wide eyes. I can barely breath with the grip he has on me._

_"Please-" I choke out before he smacks me across the face and lets me go, dropping me to the floor in a coughing fit. One final kick to the stomach is all he does before he walks away grumbling about how I ruined his breakfast._

_I lay on the floor crying silently._

_How can I get away?_

| | |

**TRIGGER WARNING.**

**Please go read about the possible triggers  
in this story if you haven't already! They're listed in the notes on the first chapter! **

| | |

I wake up with a start, snapping straight up trying to catch my breath. My hands immediately go to my throat.

He's not here... He didn't touch you again... I think to myself. 

But at what cost?

I try to self sooth with calming words and reassurance but it doesn't work. I feel tears prick my eyes and soon spill over despite my efforts to keep them in. I hold my head in my hands and sob. 

Why did I ever let that happen?

I just want to feel happy... I don't want to feel this bad. Why do I deserve to be haunted like this?

I stand up and walk to the kitchen, opening one of the small drawers with the rest of my stash in it. There lies the rest of my heroin. Of course I didn't tell Ricky about this. Why would I? All he's going to do is get angry.  
I take it out with shaky hands and shoot up.  
I quickly make my way to the bathroom, opening up the bottom drawer and pulling out a small razor. This is the only self soothing that really works...

Get the feelings out Scarlett. Let em' out.

I sit on the floor, leaning against the bathtub, the heroin starting to kick in. I pull up my sleeves and look at my pale arm covered with scars.

What's a few more right?

The free feeling starts overtaking my brain.  
I take a deep breath and take the first cut, blood slowly oozes out of the gash.  
Soon both arms are littered once again with fresh wounds. At this point blood and tears have mixed and are dripping from my arm to the floor. A nice pool of crimson has accumulated next to me. The tears and blood only keep coming.  
Only after a while do I start to feel light headed and my vision becomes fuzzy. Maybe it's from the drugs or maybe it's from the blood loss...  
Soon the fuzziness becomes blackness on the edge of my vision, slowly creeping in until my whole world goes dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ricky.**

The next day as promised, I go to check on Scarlett. But this time I not only bring her a fix but also food.   
Man am I hungry. I hope she's cool with Chinese food...

I get to her apartment and knock on the door, I hear someone call weakly from inside, saying that the door's open. I push open the door to see Scarlett sitting on the couch, blankly staring at the tv. I quickly take off my shoes and walk over to her. She doesn't take her eyes off the screen.

"Scarlett..?" I ask hesitantly.

Her stare slowly shifts off the tv to my eyes, staring deep into me. It definitely makes me uncomfortable but I shrug it off. Her eyes are empty, void of the shimmer they usually have.

"Have you eaten?"

No response.

"Well I brought food. Let's have some." I force a smile and hand her a box of takeout. I see her face perk up a little as I hand her the food. Maybe she's just really hungry...  
I watch her intensely as we eat. Her attitude was really off when I walked in and it was almost scary...

"What are you staring at Olson." She snaps and looks up from her food to me, sending a sharp glare in my direction.

"You." I state plainly.

There's a quick flash of shock on her face before she hides it best she can. But still clearly taken aback. "And why are you starting at me?" She asks almost angrily.

"Because you're acting funny."

"No I'm not." She replies defensively.

"Did you take anything today?" I ask suspiciously.

"Of course I did Richard." She rolls her eyes and takes a big bite of her food.

I honestly don't doubt her for a second. She doesn't seem high right now but definitely still on something. But when is she not on something?   
She's a junkie anyways.

I need to quit reading so far into this. She's probably not feeling well or something. Or maybe it's that time of the month or something... Women do get angrier around that time right? Or maybe I did something? What could I have done to piss her off..? Did I leave too early yesterday? Did I say something? Do I look funny? Does she hate me?

That's when I realize the reddish brown coloring on her sleeves and how it continues to her pale hands. I'm 99.9% positive I know what that red is. And I know for sure it's not paint. She's no artist. She catches me looking and tries to pull down her sleeves.

"Rick... It's not what you think." She replies quickly. I can see ice cold fear in her eyes.

Is she afraid of me...?

"Scarlett..." I slowly grab her hand, not missing the way she stiffens when I do so. "Pull up your sleeve." I say softly.

She shakes her head vigorously.

"You can't hide it from me." I reply.

She sits and stares at her feet for a long while. I keep one of her hands in mine, letting her know I'm not giving up. Finally after a few more minutes she pulls up her sleeves, confirming my suspicions. Blood is splotched down her arm, long trails of dried, crusted blood run down to her fingers from the top of her arm. Deep cuts are still present on her frail arm. I feel a pang in my chest. "Why did you do this?" I ask.

There's a look that I can't describe that flashes across her face. Maybe a 'why would you ask that' type of look. She stays silent as I ask again.

"Scarlett. Answer me." I say seriously.

"It makes me feel better..." She mumbles and plays with the end of her sleeve.

Not very descriptive but I'll take it. I move to sit from the coffee table to the spot on the couch next to her. She stiffens.

"And why do you need to feel better?" I ask softly.

"It's nothing." She replies.

"No one does something like this for nothing."

She takes her hand back from mine and I can tell she's deciding if she wants to tell the truth or not.  
"It was my boyfriend" She responds after moments of thinking.

"What about him?" I ask.

She shakes her head, I can tell she's about done telling me things so I shoot my shot. "Well why do you take drugs?"

She's caught off guard again. But responds quietly, "I needed to get away from him... He wouldn't leave me alone."

"What do you mean?" I ask, concerned.

"He would hurt me, really bad. And I had no one to help me out of it so I needed to come up with something myself. So I knew if I wasn't his perfect little girlfriend then he'd throw me out. So I turned to drugs. I could've done so many other things but I chose drugs. And now I'm stuck and I can't stop..." She hangs her head. I see her shoulders shake and I realize she's crying. Her hands immediately go to cover her face to hide her tears. I pull her close to me and she wraps her arms around my waist, burying her head in my chest. 

"He'll never touch you again Scarlett."


	11. Chapter 11

**Scarlett.**

After the event with Ricky he took all of my razors and is making me promise him that if I want to hurt myself that I have to call him so he can help. How does he think he can help?! The closest thing I have to "help" is drugs. And I've been slowly putting them together, getting me a better high in the end. I sigh as I sort through the bills on the coffee table. More than half of them labeled "LATE" in big red letters. I have a week to get them all payed. The consequence being me getting kicked out.

How the fuck am I going to get them payed? I don't even know.. I groan and lean back into the couch, covering my face with my hands.

| | |

_It's been about three weeks since I started taking. My boyfriend still hasn't noticed. Damnit.  
I'm going to shoot up when he walks through the door so he can throw me out for sure. I'm so sick of the fucking pain he puts me through. How much he smacks me around... I could never take him on myself so I chose the only thing I could think of. Drugs._

_I sit on the couch and hold the needle in my shaky hand as I wait for him to walk in. He always gets home at 5:10 on the dot. If not he'll get pissed and give me a beating I never deserved. I hear the garage open and my hands start to sweat. My heart is racing faster than it ever has before... The door flings open and I stick the needle in my arm, shooting the heroin into a vein. I'm immediately hit with a wave of calm. My heart slows and I feel a smile creep on my face. The shaking slowly subsides as I watch him close the door._

_"What. The fuck. Are you doing." I hear my boyfriend say harshly from across the room._

_I can't even muster a response, my brain is too clouded._

_"I said... What. The fuck. Are you doing!?" He shouts as he stalks over to me, grabbing me by the neck._

_My smile only grows._

_"Scarlett fucking Reed!" He shakes me angrily._

_I give no response._

_"You're a fucking junkie?! You're probably sleeping around! What fucking STD did you give me?!" He gets in my face._

_"All of them." I reply with a smirk._

_I'm met with a violent smack to the face. The sting is almost blinding it hurts so bad. That's definitely leaving a bruise. I see the red hot rage in his eyes and I already know I'm fucked. At this point I would probably start crying and beg him for mercy but the drugs are doing good things for me. There's no tears, no fear, no anger. I'm calm. Perfectly calm.  
Then I feel a hard punch to the face and the world goes dark..._

_I feel cold water being poured on me and I wake with a start. I immediately sit up and look around. I'm laying on the wet sidewalk next to the dark street. There's people walking all around me with dark umbrellas, rushing to get out of the heavy rain that pours from the black clouded sky. It's late from what I can tell... I stand up and look for anything that may be mine._

_Nothing..._

_No bag, no purse, nothing._

_I clutch my head and hyperventilate._

_Shit! Shit shit shit! I didn't think he'd kick me out and keep my stuff! I turn in circles hoping to see anything that may be mine. When I realize I have nothing, I sink to the ground slowly and cry. My face hurts like hell. If someone cut off my cheek it wouldn't even hurt this bad..._

_It seems like forever that I sit there and cry until there's no tears left. The rain certainly hasn't stopped but the amount of people on the sidewalk has surely faded.  
I stand up and look around for a restaurant or motel or anywhere warm to stay for at least five minutes. I rush over to a run down restaurant and step inside, out of the pouring rain. A hostess immediately walks over to me._

"Are you ok? You're soaked! And you have a nasty bruise..." She looks me up and down then points at my cheek.

__

"I-I'm fine... I just need someplace warm to stay for five minutes." I reply with a small smile.

__

She nods and takes me to a table in the corner of the restaurant. I sit down and hold my head in my hands.

__

I hear the leather seat crack as someone sits down across from me. I look up quickly. There sits a pale man with shoulder length greasy black hair, with his beanie pulled low, and a black t-shirt paired with a silver key necklace hanging on his neck. 

__

"What do you want." I say with as much sternness I can muster.

__

"You look like you need something to help you pull through." He responds smoothly.

__

"Yeah? And what would that be?" I reply, skeptical.

__

He lifts one arm that's on the table barely enough to reveal a tiny bag with white pounder inside. I look from him to the bag and back to him, shocked. Is he really trying to sell me shit? I nod quickly regardless.

__

"250." He states.

__

250! That's a lot of money for a fucking gram. Is he kidding?

__

He must see the shock on my face. "250, beautiful. If you don't want to pay it then you'll have to find someone else." He replies with a shrug.

__

I sigh. Am I really going to pay 250 for what may or may not be a gram? I let out another sigh as I reach into my back pocket and pull out my wallet, slowly sliding the $250 across the table. He passes me the bag under the table then reaches for my arm, quickly scribbling something on it.

__

"See you around... beautiful." He gives a wink and walks out into the heavy spring rain.

__

_I quickly stuff the bag into my back pocket, hoping no one saw the exchange. I look down at my arm. A phone number and the name Ricky is written in bold black sharpie. I guess I just found myself a real dealer..._ | | |


	12. Chapter 12

**Ricky.**

Goddamn has it been a rough week... I've had to pull my knife on two people because they tried to steal shit from me, other customers refused to pay up, and Chris is pissed. I jump when I hear a knock on my door. I know exactly who it is. He texted me ten minutes prior. I instantly get up and open the door to reveal a lanky looking Chris. He steps in and sits on the couch. I sit in the chair across from him.

"Rick you know you're not keeping up right?" Chris immediately starts with the serious conversation I was expecting. It's pretty unlike him to not make small talk first... I must be in pretty deep shit. He doesn't give me time to reply before he speaks again. "If you don't keep up you know we'll have to find someone else."

I nod in response. "Yeah I'm sorry... I'll get on top of it this week. I've just been preoccupied."

"With what. What's more important than your job? I know you don't have a girlfriend." He arches an eyebrow.

"I- Uh... It's nothing. I promise this won't happen again." I say quickly.

Chris nods. "Great. I've also noticed that we're not getting the amount of money we should be for the amount we're selling. You're not giving freebies are you?" He stares me down.

"Of course not! You know I need money just as much as you do." I try and cover the fact I have been giving freebies to Scarlett.

"Hm... Well no one has stolen from you right?"

I shake my head.

He looks at me suspiciously. "If something really is going on Rick... It'd be best if you told me now."

I shake my head once again. "Nope. Nothing. I don't really know what happened this week but I promise it won't happen next week."

"Good." He smiles, "Well that's all! I'll see you next week Rick." He stands and makes his way to the door, showing himself out.

I groan and stand up, getting all my stuff together to go sell again. Tonight Scarlett's actually going to have to pay full price.

| | |

I make it to her apartment and knock on the door. No answer. I knock again. No answer.

What the fuck? She told me to meet her at her apartment. At this exact time. Is she not home?

I try the door and it easily opens. I call out for her.  
No response.

I take a step in and look around. The place is a mess. There's papers all over the floor marked 'LATE' in big red letters, the tv is blaring, there's bottles of beer scattered everywhere, and a small trail of red starts from the kitchen to a door of which I assume is the bedroom. A pang of concern hits me when I see the trail of what I think is blood. I quickly make my way to the door where the blood leads and knock loudly.   
No answer.

I try the door and walk in the room. Scarlett's sprawled across the bed, needles and white powder are all over the bed and on the side table. There's a joint in the ash tray and more beer bottles scattered on the floor and bed. The room smells absolutely foul. But it's nothing better than most junkies houses.   
But that's when I see the razor and the dark red on the sheets. Goddamnit. Didn't I tell her to call me?

I carefully make my way over to her and shake her lightly. "Scarlett...?" I see her eyes flutter. A great sign honestly. Her chest rises and falls, signaling me that she's still breathing. I shake her harder, trying my best to wake her up. She doesn't. I run to the kitchen and grab a hand towel, racing back to her and pressing it to her arms, trying to stop the blood that continues to spill.

"Scarlett you gotta wake up!" I shake her harder. She doesn't open her eyes.   
I reach for my phone and dial 911.

"911 what's your emergency?" the operator answers on the second ring.

"My friend overdosed and she's barely here. Please come quick." I blurt into the phone.

"What's the address sir?"

I tell her the address of the shitty apartment complex and the apartment number frantically.

"Ok ok, I promise the ambulance is on it's way." She replies. "Just stay on the phone with me."

"Come on Scar..." I say desperately as I run my hand through her hair and down the side over her face. "Fuck!" I hang my head.

"Sir?" The operator questions.

"What!?" I shout.

"Sir please calm down. The ambulance is on it's way."

"How the fuck am I supposed to be calm when my friend is practically dead in front of me?!" I yell into the phone.

"Sir it's ok... Your friend will be okay." The lady says calmly.

"You can't fucking say that! You don't fucking know!" I feel the tears coming. Fuck Ricky! Stop being weak! She put herself in this situation. Why the fuck do you care?! Just let her die!

"Sir I know it must be hard... But she'll live, she'll be okay I promise. The ambulance should be there right now."

Almost instantly a harsh knock comes from the door, I sprint to open it. Large men push me out of the way and walk into the bedroom with a large red bag. I follow them in and watch from the doorway. I can't help but cry harder as I watch them work on bringing her back. Tears fall down my face to my dark jacket. The operator hangs up the phone quickly. They start shouting to each other when they realize she's stopped breathing.

I can't watch this... I walk to the kitchen and hold myself up by the counter. My tears fall onto the hard countertop, making small puddles.  
I think i'm going to be sick... Tears come faster after I really grasp what's happened. Fuck... Is she dead? Will she live? What will I tell Chris?

My thoughts are cut short when one of the medics walks over. "What's your relationship to her." He asks sternly.

"Uh... Her boyfriend." I say the first thing that comes to my mind. I wipe my eyes quickly, hoping that I don't look like a total pussy. What? Am I going to tell them that I'm her drug dealer? Fuck no.

"You should ride with us. We're taking her to the hospital." He motions for me to follow him. I run after him to the ambulance where Scarlett lays on the stretcher. She's ghostly pale. I try to take deep breaths to stop any more tears that may want to fall. I jump in the ambulance and hold her hand.

The medics work frantically to bring her back. Soon a cheer erupts from the two working on her and Scarlett's chest slowly rises and falls. I curse myself for crying again but it's hard to stop it. At least they're happy tears now...  
Soon we make it to the hospital and she gets a room. I sit next to her for what seems like hours before her eyes open and she looks around.

Her voice is raspy when she speaks, "Where am I? Rick...? What happened?"

"You overdosed Scarlett..." I hold her hand tightly. "Now you're in the hospital."

The shock in her eyes is unmistakable. She splutters. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-"

"It's ok Scar. Just get some rest okay?" I say.

"I want to go home..." She looks at me with pleading eyes.

"I know... I know..." I run my other hand through her hair. "Just close your eyes and get some sleep. I'll be right here. I won't leave you." I say soothingly.

She gives a weak nod and closes her eyes. Soon thirty minutes passes and I'm almost certain she's asleep. I pull out my phone and call Chris.

"Hello?" He responds.

"Hey Chris, I don't think I'll be on time for pay this week." I say quietly.

"And why is that?" He sounds exhausted.

"My friend overdosed and I'm going to keep her with me... So I need to make sure she's okay for this week, then I can get back on top of things. I promise."

"Rick. You're so lucky I care for your friend." He responds.

"Thank you so much Chris." I say.

"Yeah yeah whatever. Just make sure your friend is okay." He says before hanging up.

I put my phone in my pocket and close my eyes, still hanging on tightly to Scarlett's hand.


	13. Chapter 13

**Ricky.**

Soon the morning rolls around and the doctors come in and check Scarlett out, telling her she's free to go home. It takes her a while to get up and ready to leave. She holds my hand the whole way to my apartment. I open the heavy front door and let her inside. She looks around, surprised.

"What's the look for?" I ask.

"I've never been to your place..." She mumbles. "And it stinks of cigarettes."

"Sorry... I guess I didn't tell you I smoked." I reply.

"It's fine, I almost expected it." She looks at me and smiles.

"My place isn't much either... I'm sorry."

"Nor is mine, it's fine." She says calmly.

"You can take my bed tonight because there isn't any other place to sleep but the couch." I say.

"Nono! I can sleep on the couch." She replies with a clearly fake smile.

"You're sleeping in my room. Don't try to argue with me because you won't win." I say.

She nods and looks around some more. I watch her as she stares down about everything in my bland apartment. From the plain white walls to the plain white tile on the floor.

"You play guitar?" She suddenly says.

I nod in response. "Just casually. I'm nothing special."

"That's pretty cool. You'll have to play for me sometime." She sits down on the couch and I sit next to her. "Why don't you tell me anything about yourself? I've told you so much about me..." She mumbles.

"Never really thought to? I'm not all that interesting." I kick my feet up on the coffee table.

She nods slowly. I see her dosing off, her pretty green eyes slowly closing. I can't help but smile as her head droops onto my shoulder. Soon she's leaning against me and I wrap my arm around her. God she's beautiful...

If only she wasn't a junkie...

You know what? We can fix that. It'll be tough but it can be done. Addiction can be kicked.   
She'll be so much happier, and healthier.

I usually couldn't give two shits if an addict lived or died. I don't care what the fuck happens to them as long as I get my money. I'm happy to supply you as long as I get paid. That's what's so weird about my relationship with Scarlett...

In the beginning it used to be like any other work relationship. Strictly business. She'd get her drugs and I'd get my money. But soon it changed and we slowly got closer. I used to call her beautiful for her to feel special, so it would be easier to convince her she needed my services. But I dropped that once we got closer. When she'd get high around me and tell me small things about her. That's when I knew that she was hooked and needed me so I could finally drop the pretty things.

Did I feel bad for her in the beginning? No. Not at all. I didn't care if she dropped dead in a dirty alleyway. Only because I knew there were plenty of other people who were so willing, so desperate for my services. So she was just one in one hundred. Just another fucking junkie. Just another bitch to sell to. Just another money making girl.

But now it's different. Oh so much different.

I might like her...   
I don't mind the broken parts. She's perfect to me.

I might even want to help her out of it. Out of the downward spiral of addiction.

Am I really willing to get rid of one of my better customers? Am I willing to let her go live a better life? To have money? A boyfriend? A family?

Maybe...

Do I want the best for her? Yes.  
That's the one thing I am 100% certain of.   
I want her to be happy. Alive. With someone who loves her. Not some asshole who smacks her around.

Maybe even me..? 

I sigh and shake my head. It would never happen.  
She'll find someone so much better. Some businessman who can support the both of them with a shit ton of money. Who will balance her, the kids, and work. A man who knows how to love her better than any man could.

She's a nice girl. Beautiful, smart, and talented. And she needs to live a long, happy, fulfilled life. Die of old age rather than an accidental overdose.  
Am I going to help her get there? Help her get that teaching job? Help her get a better life with a businessman husband?

Yes.

Only for her will I sacrifice so much.

Only for her...


	14. Chapter 14

**Scarlett.**

I wake up to the smell of something cooking. It smells delicious. I realize there's no one next to me and I assume Ricky's cooking. Or maybe he left it to burn the apartment down with me in it...

My head pounds as I sit up. I realize I'm covered buy a heavy brown blanket, matching the leather couch. I slowly push it off me and make my way to the kitchen where Ricky is cooking what looks like hamburger.

Thank god for good cooks...

My thoughts are shut off by the irresistible urge for drugs. I quickly realize I don't have any.  
Tough it out Scar. You'll go home tonight and you can get some there.

Ricky must realize my presence and turns around with a small smile, a half burnt cigarette in between his fingers and a spatula in the other. He motions for me to sit down at the small wooden table on the other side of the kitchen. "Food will be ready soon." He says happily.

I nod and sit down. I watch him as he plates the hamburgers and brings them over to the table, sitting down across from me. He slides a plate to me and I dig in. He presses the cigarette out in the ash tray in the middle of the table and takes a big bite of his hamburger.  
Damn he really is a good cook...  
I keep doubting his cooking abilities but each time I'm proven more and more wrong.

"Scarlett..." He says softly. "You're going to stay here with me."

I choke. What?! He can't do that! "What?" I ask as calmly as I can possibly muster.

"I don't think it's safe for you to go home." He replies.

"You can't keep me here." I state angrily. All calmness has escaped my mind.

"No I can't. But you'll die if you go and I'll promise you that." He looks me deep in the eyes.

"So what if I want to die?!" I shout.

"You don't."

"And how do you know that!"

"What about getting that teaching job you wanted? You wanted to teach kids everyday, you told me you wanted to find someone who loved you and you said you wanted to get off drugs. Well now is your chance. I'll help you." He says calmly.

He's right... Why is he always right?!  
Fuck!

"Fine." I grumble.

"Good. Then you're going to stay here this week." He replies.

I nod and finish my food. He takes our plates and places them in the sink then holds out his hand for me. I take it and he leads me back to the couch.   
The rest of the day is spent watching movies on the TV, cuddling into Ricky's side with his arm around me.  
Ricky has already gone through a half a pack of cigarettes and is still going strong. His lungs must be made of steel...

"Rick..?"

He looks down at me, "Yeah?"

I feel a wave of nervousness rush through me. "Nevermind..."

"You were going to say something, now you gotta tell me." He smiles.

"No it's really nothing." I reply.

"Your ears turn red when you lie."

"Fuck you." I say shyly and push my hair so it covers my ears. Ricky laughs and pulls me closer.

"But seriously beautiful, tell me what you were going to say."

"Uh... Can you smoke outside?" I ask and fidget with my fingers.

His eyes grow wide. "Of course! I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable." He immediately puts out the cigarette in the ash tray on the side table. 

Why the fuck does he have so many ash trays?

I feel bad that I pretty much told him quit smoking. But it really smells bad and it's giving me a headache...  
I groan and rest my head on Ricky's shoulder.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Yeah yeah... I just have a headache." I mumble.

"Shit I'm sorry Scar... It was the cigarettes wasn't it?" He seems genuinely sorry and it hurts my heart a little. But I nod regardless.

He immediately picks me up and takes me to the bedroom, placing me gently on the bed.

"Get some sleep and your head will feel better. And I'll start smoking outside..." He says quietly as he pulls the covers up over me.

"Thank you..." Is all I can muster to say. My head is pounding and It's really never hurt this bad before. But I don't really want Ricky to know that. This room doesn't smell any better than the other, it almost smells worse. But I try to hide how I feel about the stench by sinking down farther into the covers.

"Yell for me if you need anything... Okay beautiful?"

I nod and close my eyes, hearing him walk out of the room.


	15. Chapter 15

**Ricky.**

I do what Scarlett asked me to do and now I'm sitting outside, smoking my second cigarette of the day and watching the sun slowly rise. The morning is pretty chilly, as the sun is just rising. It'll eventually get a little warmer but not by much. I pull my beanie lower and push my hand deeper into my pocket.

It's been two days and she's gotten so much more bitchy. But then again... That's withdrawals for you. And the only way for her to get off the drugs is to go through that shit. In the past day I've questioned why I'm helping her around ten times. Now I think it's happening again.. There's a good possibility she'll just go right back to drugs. All my help may be for nothing... Why would I risk that? Wasting my time like that? And then she'll just leave. I'll probably never see her again...

I really like her.  
She can't just leave! 

I take a long drag of the cigarette and hold my head in my hands.  
How did I start liking her so much?

She's just a junkie Ricky! She's just a pathetic waste of space on this earth!   
A. Fucking. Addict.

I feel anger in my chest. Why do I like her?! I stand up quickly and throw the half burnt cigarette off the balcony in a rage. "Fuck you!" I shout loudly.  
I grip the railing and look at the ground below. I hear the sliding door open slightly and I jump, turning around quickly. Scarlett stands there in a long shirt and what looks like no pants.

Whoa...

I can't help but stare at her thighs.   
Fuck Ricky! Control yourself you bastard!  
I look up to her beautiful green eyes. I see a hint of amusement amongst the tiredness in them. I feel a beet red blush form on my face.

"I was going to ask if I could borrow some pants but clearly you like what you see." She chuckles.

"No! Nono! I mean yes! Wait-" I stumble and my face heats up more.

"Ricky show me where your pants are." She replies, clearly trying not to laugh more.

I nod quickly and lead her to my closet, handing her a pair of black skinny jeans. It's pretty much all I have... "Good?" I ask.

She looks hesitant but takes them regardless. She steps into them and gets them up to her thighs before they won't go any farther. She tries to yank them up but the refuse to get up her thighs. She looks up at me from the pants and a pretty pink blush is visible across her cheeks.   
Okay... I realized she had some pretty sweet thighs but damn...

"Fuck you're hot..." I mutter.

"What?" She asks, still trying to somehow get the pants up her legs.

"Nothing." I reply and look her in the eyes.

"Whatever... Can we just go to my place and get some pants that actually fit me?" She asks somewhat annoyed.

"Oh... Yeah sure..." I reply halfheartedly. I really wouldn't mind if she just walked around like she was...

"Stop being a pervert Richard. You're staring." She snaps and throws the pants at my face. I catch them and throw them on the bed. "You have fucking stick legs you little bitch." She grumbles and walks out of the bedroom.

I can't help but laugh and chase after her. "Stick legs huh?"

"Yes you asshole! You did that on purpose too didn't you?!" She shouts.

I smile, "and what if I did?" I take a step closer to her, knowing full well I was just trying to help out.

"I hate you Rick." She grumbles and pushes me away.

"No you don't beautiful." I reply as I watch her put on her sweats that have food, and from the looks of it... Other... Stains on them.

"Yeah I really do." She argues and heads for the door.

"Mhm whatever you say." I smirk and follow behind her.

| | |

We get enough of her clothes for the week and come back to my apartment. She's absolutely exhausted from the little trip. I think she's just realizing how much the drugs helped her through her day. She lets out a loud groan as she flops onto the couch.

"Go to my room and rest." I say softly as I stand in front of her.

"No... I don't need to." She snaps.

I roll my eyes. She definitely needs a nap...

"Come on Scarlett, you're clearly so tired. Just go rest, I promise nothing will happen in that time." I say, exasperated.

She reaches for my hand and I pull her up to her feet. She won't let go as she walks to my room and lies down on the bed, she yanks me down with her. We don't let go of the other's hands. We just lay there, staring at the ceiling. Eventually she turns on her side and cuddles into me, one of my arms wraps around her shoulders lightly. I let my other hand reach up and push a long strand of hair out of her face.

She plays with the key necklace that hangs around my neck, twirling it between each of her fingers. I watch her as she does so. She is definitely pretty, I have to give her that...

"Ricky...?" She looks up at me.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for helping me..." She says in a whisper.

"Of course beautiful." I respond just as quietly with a smile.

That's when I realize this is all worth it. Helping her is really what I want to do. And I'm so happy that I am.  
I also realize that it's not about me. It's about her and how she deserves to get better.   
And I'm fine with that.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ricky.**

It's Thursday and I'm beginning to think that this is going to take longer than a week... I can barely take three steps before Scarlett is begging me to get her a hit or trying to dig through my stuff for my "stash".

Little does she know I don't keep it here. I don't care for the cops to come running in and locking me up for possession.

But it is getting slowly more and more annoying... She's definitely wrecking my apartment. It's taking all my will not to throw her out. Don't get me wrong, I like her a lot, but I don't care to be cleaning up the messes she makes.  
She's almost like a little kid, I have to almost force her to take naps just because I get so fed up with her begging.   
I just get her to sleep when I get a call from Chris. I gently take my hand from hers and get up from the bed. She refuses to sleep unless I lay next to her for around thirty minutes. So I do what I have to do.

I walk out of the room and answer the phone quietly.

"Rick do you not remember the deal today?!" He shouts on the other end.

"What deal...?" I ask.

"The biggest one of your fucking career! You told me you'd meet me early!" He's getting increasingly angry.

"I can't leave my friend." I reply flatly.

"I don't fucking care about your friend! Your addict friend can die for all I care! Now get your ass here!" He snaps.

"Fuck you Chris!" I shout back.

"Get your ass over here before you don't have a fucking job Rick." He hangs up quickly.

I groan and throw on my shoes and grab my beanie before walking out the door, knowing full well I really won't have a job if I don't go.

Let's hope Scarlett doesn't wake up...

I get to the place where we're supposed to be meeting as quickly as I can and I see Chris's tall figure leaning against the dirty alleyway wall. I can tell he's pissed...  
I run over to him and wait for him to look at me.   
Yep. Real pissed...

"Look who finally made it." Chris grumbles "so much for meeting early."

I give no response and stand there awkwardly.

Soon Justin slowly walks over and I feel a little safer. He wouldn't let Chris kick my ass even though that's Justin's job as a fucking hitman...

Justin decides to stay quiet as he usually does. It seems like he can feel the anger radiating off of Chris too. But he doesn't ask questions, he never does. He's such a good sport. He always does what he has to. He's easy.

We stay in silence for a long while, waiting for whoever may show up. It's freezing out and I certainly wish I was at home with Scarlett instead of here. Even with her bitching, It's still better than the fucking cold.

Soon we see two men get out of a dark SUV from across the street. They slowly walk over to us with a large bag, of what I can only assume is the drugs. They take fucking forever to get over to us.

Chris holds out his hand for one man to shake, and he does. Chris shoos me and Justin away and begins a hushed conversation with the stranger. A smile breaks out on the man's face before he gingerly hands over the duffel bag. Chris gives him a much smaller bag filled with cash in return. Justin and I just stand there watching without knowing a word they're saying. I know Justin's only purpose here is protection so this is what he would be doing regardless, standing here. But aren't I supposed do the deal? I am the dealer after all... Chris says a final thing to the stranger and walks over to us. His smile immediately drops as he throws the bag at my face.

"Go take this to where you usually do." He grumbles. "Justin you can go."

Justin immediately starts to walk away, knowing that Chris is pissed and clearly doesn't want to stand here another second. Understandable...

Chris looks me deep in the eyes and if looks could kill, I would've been on the ground as soon as I got here. "Next time Rick. Get here on time will you?" He says like a question but we both know It's not. "Or else we'll have to find someone else. So I suggest you drop that little friend of yours." 

I nod in response, knowing if I say anything I'll just get myself into deeper shit.

Chris gives a small smile, "good."  
I stand there on the street with the heavy duffel bag as I watch him walk away. 

It's only ten seconds later when i get a panicked call from Scarlett.


	17. Chapter 17

**Scarlett.**

I slowly wake up from my however long nap and look around. My head is pounding and it makes me want to cry. Ricky's usually right here when I wake up... Maybe he's just outside. I refuse to get up because of the raging headache I have. I just stare at the ceiling and my mind takes me away.

| | |

_I look at my phone and debate if I should text Ricky. It's been a while but surely he hasn't forgot about me? I guess I haven't really texted him since the first time we met..._

_I decide to text the number he gave me._

_S: Ricky?_

_R: Who is this?_

_S: The girl from the diner_

_R: Who?_

_S: The one with the bruise  
on her cheek_

_R: Oh yeah. How can  
I help you?_

_S: Can I get some stuff?_

_R: Sure. I'll meet you  
on the corner by the  
diner at 9._

_S: Ok cool._

_I sigh and put the phone down. This is probably the most shitty idea but whatever. Soon 9 PM rolls around and I'm waiting at the corner. I didn't expect it to rain but I guess that's what you get in spring... I try and get under an overhang to shield myself from the rain. I stand and wait for fifteen minutes, no one shows up. I'll give it another five before I text him. Those five minutes pass agonizingly slow._

_I decide to finally call him. It couldn't hurt right?_

_He picks up on the fourth ring. "Hello?" He answers, clearly preoccupied with something._

_"You said you were coming almost twenty minutes ago." I grumble._

_"Oh yeah... I'll be there in a second." He mumbles. I can hear some sort of tv or movie going on in the background._

_"Ok well I'm waiting." I reply and hang up. I let out a deep breath and sit on the ground._

_What if I'm getting set up right now? Sitting here forever for what? I shake off the thought and lean against the wall._

_Almost an hour passes before a dark car pulls up across the street. I watch him as he takes his sweet time walking over. Fuck dude! Hurry up because my legs are killing me!_

_I practically throw the money at him and hold my hand out for the stuff he's supposed to give me. He slowly looks through the cash and nods, handing me a small bag of white powder. I thank him quickly and almost run to my car._

| | |

I lie there for probably forty minutes before I slowly stand up and walk around the small apartment. Ricky truly isn't home so I sit outside on the balcony. It's cold and dark but that's fine. I grab one cigarette from the pack on the side table and light it with the small red lighter next to the pack. I take a long drag and stare out into the cold winter night. I soon finish the cigarette and snuff it out in the ashtray.

I break out into a sweat and feel nauseous. I quickly run inside to throw up. I can only make it to the sink before yesterday's food comes up. I feel absolutely terrible. Tears sting my eyes before they fall down my face and into the sink. I grip onto the edge of the counter like if I let go, I would fall into a hole and never come back.   
After everything I've eaten in the past three days has come up into the sink, I race to the bedroom and grab my phone.

"Ricky!" I cry.

"Scarlett? What's wrong?!" He asks concerned.

"Please come home..." I say as I sink to the floor.

"Okay... Okay... I'm coming. Just hold on okay?" He soothes.

"Okay..." I reply weakly.

"I'll see you in a few minutes, just stay where you are." He responds and hangs up.

I stay there crumpled on the floor even when I feel bile rise in my throat. I can't find the power to get up and run to the bathroom so I lean over and let it out on the light wood floor. Ricky is going to be so pissed... That only makes me cry harder. I start shaking and repeating the same sentence over and over again. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..." I whisper to myself.

I hear the front door fling open and I wait in a sorry heap on the floor for whoever it may be. A panicked Ricky runs in the bedroom and stares at me for a split second before practically falling on the floor and holding me close, slowly picking me up and placing me on the bed. He looks at the throw up on the floor and gets the proper stuff to clean it up. He places a large bowl next to me and instructs me to throw up anything else in it.

After that he lies down behind me and gently wraps his arms around my waist. I can't help but move closer into him. He quietly whispers sweet nothings in my ear, causing my shaking to stop.

"You're so beautiful you know that?" He whispers into the crook of my neck. 

I feel a blush form on my face and smile. He really knows how to make a girl feel better...

I feel myself starting to fall asleep and I think Ricky has too. I fall asleep safely in his arms.


	18. Chapter 18

**Ricky.**

I honestly felt so bad for Scarlett when I saw her last night. Sick, crying, and obviously upset. It definitely broke my heart to see her like that. The only thing that came to my mind was 'make her feel better'.

So now I'm making a light breakfast so she doesn't get sick again. I'll let her sleep as long as she needs though. Almost as soon as I decide that, I feel arms snake around my torso.

"Good morning~" I turn around to face her.

She only grunts in response, clearly still tired.

"Hungry?" I ask her.  
She shakes her head no.

Well there goes the food...

It doesn't really matter though. I turn off the burner and walk to the couch, taking her with and sitting down with her in my lap. I wrap my arms around her waist.  
Her beauty is almost blinding. I feel her hands move to my waist as she leans in and rests her head on my shoulder. I feel heat form on my cheeks.

We sit there for a while just holding onto each other. Would I kill to have this all the time? Absolutely.  
I would do anything to wake up next to her forever, to make her breakfast, and watch movies together.  
But I don't know if she feels the same...

It's funny really, that I could form a crush on a girl I just used to deal to. How unprofessional...

My eyes wander around my bland apartment before they land on the sliding door.  
"It's snowing!" I say excitedly.

Scarlett immediately turns around and gets off my lap when she sees the snow, running over to the glass doors and pushing them open.

I run after her, "you don't have a jacket on! It's cold!"

She just stands outside facing up with her tongue out, waiting for the snowflakes to fall in her mouth. I can't help but laugh as I wrap one of my black jackets around her.

"Can we go play in the snow?" She asks with pleading eyes.

How could I ever say no? "Of course." I smile and grab her hand, taking her out of the apartment complex and down to the parking lot that already has a copious amount of snow covering it. I feel bad for anyone who will have to shovel it all.

I feel the smack of something freezing on my back.

Did she just throw a snowball at me?

I turn around to get another to the face and laughter erupts from Scarlett. I slowly wipe the freezing snow off my face and look at her with a smirk, picking up a large chunk of snow. She ducks behind a car as I throw it at her.  
I'm completely off but I tried.

In a split second there's another smack of cold. Goddamn does she have good aim...

I pick up a piece of snow and run behind the car where she was, only to be met with another snowball to the face. She only laughs harder as she runs away. I chase after her and pick her up by the waist, spinning around with her before promptly falling into a large pile of snow. She lets out a squeal and tries to get away. I hold onto her tight. It almost seems like she can't stop laughing.

"Ricky!! Let me go!" She squirms as I tickle her sides, earning more of her cute laughter.

I quickly stand up, leaving her in the heap of snow while throwing a final snowball at her, running as fast as I could away. She doesn't even wipe the freezing snow off before she runs after me. When I realize she's catching up to me I stop in my tracks, turning around to face her. I see her running with a large smile on her face. She slows down a little before running into me, wrapping her arms around me tightly.

"Thank you Rick..." She whispers into my chest.

"For what?" I ask, confused.

She looks up at me with tears in her eyes, "I've never had this much fun in years... And you've helped me more than I could ever ask for." She replies. I feel my heart melt a little as I look at her. The white snow is dusted over her pretty hair, and her beautiful green eyes sparkle.

I wipe the tears that escape her eyes with my thumbs. "Of course, anything for you." I give a warm smile. "Now let's get inside before you get too cold."

She gives a nod and walks inside.

"Go take a shower so you don't get a cold." I say worriedly.

"What about you?" She asks.

"I'll be fine, I'll go after you." I reply.

She nods and makes her way to the bathroom. 

I go and change into dry clothes and wait for her in the living room, putting on a movie and making popcorn. Soon she walks out in a large shirt and what seems like short shorts but I can't be certain. She takes a seat next to me and watches the movie intensely. I take that as my sign I can go shower now. I take a quick shower and return to the couch where she now lays straight across. I pick up her feet so I can actually sit down and let them rest on my lap since I don't want to get her to move.

I slowly realize that this movie is shit. But Scarlett likes it so I sit there. I don't really pay attention to it as it plays. The snow outside reminds me that Christmas is coming. I'm hoping that Scarlett will stay for it. That would be nice...

The movie soon finishes and I'm bored out of my mind. Scarlett is half asleep and I try my best to carry her to the bedroom. 

Ok I need to start working out or something if I really want to be able to carry her. I gently set her on the bed and lie next to her. She's cold when I hold her. I pull up the covers to her chin and close my eyes.  
She's out in five minutes.


	19. Chapter 19

**Scarlett.**

I sit outside on the balcony waiting for Ricky to wake up. It's absolutely freezing but the three cigarettes I've gone through have warmed me up. I'll probably go through three more by the time Ricky gets out here. I hear the glass door slide open.

Or not.

I blow out the smoke and turn to look at him.

He steps out and shuts the door behind him with a smirk. "Stealing my stash aren't you?"

I chuckle nervously, "uh, I guess so..."

He sits on the chair across from me, "what's mine is yours." He smiles.

I take a long drag of the cigarette and we sit in comfortable silence. The light snow gently falls to the ground and Ricky speaks up.

"You know today is Christmas right?" He looks at me and takes a cigarette from the pack.

I shake my head lightly. I didn't know, I totally forgot about it and I also totally forgot to get Rick a gift.

"Oh... Well I have a small tree, want to put it up?" He asks hopefully.

I nod to quickly and put out the cigarette in the ashtray, running inside before we both get cold, Ricky following close behind. The tree lies on the hardwood floors and two boxes sit next to it, inside is what I assume are decorations. We ever so slowly get the tree up and start with decorations. It's actually really cute how his face gets serious with concentration. Like if he didn't place one of the ornaments right, everything would be totally wrong.

I laugh a little and his head snaps to look at me with a cute smile playing on his thin lips. How much would I give to kiss them? Quite a lot actually...

Soon we finish by putting the star on top and he grabs my hand tenderly while we look at the beautiful tree we've decorated. I look from the tree to him and smile, giving him a tight hug.

"I have to go grab some things but I'll be back in a little bit okay?" He moves his arms lower on my waist.

I nod silently while looking up at him.

"Okay, well I'll be back. Call me if you need anything." He hugs me once again then walks out the door with his keys.

A little bit my ass. It's at least three hours before the door unlocks. I hear laughter outside and I scramble to Ricky's room. I look like shit and I don't really want anyone to see me. Ricky being the one and only exception. I'm sure the people who've just walked in are staying for a while so I throw on something more presentable and put on light makeup. Nothing too fancy but enough to impress if I needed to.

I hear men eagerly talking in the living room. The talk fades quickly when I walk out. I internally curse myself for embarrassing myself in front of them all at the restaurant. But a sliver of confidence pushes through that when I remind myself that I'm three weeks sober.

The men scattered around the living room stare at me with a look I couldn't describe. Ricky speaks up after a few seconds of looking me up and down with a smirk.   
I didn't even dress that nicely? What's up with him?

"Uh.. Guys this is my friend Scarlett!" He walks over to me and wraps an arm around my waist, clearly waiting for the guy's reaction to me.

A boy on the floor with fluffy brown hair gives me a bright smile. While the tall man on the couch gives a half glare.

Mixed emotions here I see...

The boy with fluffy hair speaks up, "I'm Vinny but you can call me Vin! And this is Chris, Ryan, and Justin." He points down the line of men on the couch.

"It's nice to meet you all." I say softly.  
Ricky gives me a smile of encouragement.   
"Well uh... I'm gonna..." I point to the balcony in an attempt to get away.

Ricky nods and lets me go. I hastily make my way outside and sit on one of the black metal chairs and pick up a cigarette, lighting it and taking a drag. I hear the men inside talking lowly through the half open door.

"Where do we know her from...?" Ryan asks.

"She worked at that restaurant and dropped all the stuff." Chris reminds.

I see Vinny look at Ricky, "does she still work there?"

"No, she got laid off for missing so many days." Ricky replies calmly.

"Why did she miss so many days?" Vin asks.

I see Ricky try to come up with a good response. "She was struggling Vin. So I had to help her and now she's here with me."

Vinny gives a nod and looks like he's processing it all.

Chris glares at Ricky and pulls him into the kitchen where I can hear them better. "That's your junkie friend?!" He yells in a whisper.

"She's sober Chris." Ricky rubs his face, exhausted from trying to explain everything.

"Then why isn't she gone? I told you to get rid of her!" He grumbles.

"Because maybe, Chris. I don't want her gone." Ricky snaps. "Maybe I like her enough to keep her around."

"It's just like you to fall for a junkie." Chris snaps back.

Ricky just walks out of the kitchen and outside to me, taking a cigarette from the pack. "You're going to take 'em all aren't you?" He asks with a smile.

I pretend like I've heard nothing the boys have said and give him a nod and smile. Just as Ricky is about to say something, Ryan calls from the kitchen, "foods ready!"

Rick sighs and stuffs the unlit cigarette back in the box and I snuff out my cigarette and walk inside for whatever food is prepared.

We all eat the dinner in silence, Vinny trying his hardest to make it less awkward by making jokes that no one laughs at. Eventually Vin cracks an actual funny joke and we all laugh, soon creating a real conversation that Chris refuses to take part in. Munching angrily on his food.

Soon we make our way to the living room to open the small amount of presents under the tree. Everyone seems to have a gift each. I feel bad I couldn't get anything...

Chris got three blank notebooks for whatever reason they are for. Ryan got three CD's of artists I didn't know. Vinny got video games, Justin got horror movies, and Ricky got two books that actually looked fairly interesting. They're all visibly happy with the items they've received and it makes me happy to see the smiles on their faces.

Ricky turns to me with a sad smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't get you anything but I hope this may be enough..." He pulls out a rectangular box covered with purple velvet, he opens it to reveal a beautiful necklace with purple and black jewels.

"Will you be my girlfriend Scarlett..?"

I stand there in shock for a second. How much did he spend on that? Does he really mean it? What if it's just a joke? I shake all the negative thoughts out of my mind and respond with a smile. "Of course Rick." I hug him tightly, refusing to let go.

This definitely tops the snowball fight for most happy moment of my life.

**end.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:   
> Thank you so much for reading this story! I really hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading.
> 
> If you liked this story, go check out my others on Wattpad! I'll work on transferring them over here in case you don't like Wattpad.
> 
> Much love to anyone who reads  
> -77


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